My First Time On Camera Tonight for a Live Meeting.....
It is kind of a big deal for me to allow myself to be here tonight with everyone! I did not do my hair I had it up and just put it down and was like it doesn't matter. It matters who I am over looks and superficial things. I had a tough 2022 and 2023 and I realized the other day that I have to stop hiding. I am so grateful to be a part of this book series. I feel I am ready for everything else. I waited 5 years for this opportunity and worked hard for everything. But, I am ready for the next level and the transition and growth it comes from within. There is an African Proverb that I can reflect on, "If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together." I first read this in 2015 going into 2016 and I meet with a local group of ladies but it all fell apart and never reconnected. With this Creative Lifebook Series it will always be there so it's just amazing.
Tonight I had meeting from 6-9 and still working on my dreams and goals. I was not sure what to do profit/non-profit quit as it's so intense. Everything is moving really fast and I miss my son Ethan and it's been 119 days today. I am trying to stay super strong throughout all this and even found another organization for crime victims too. I feel that where I am is not worth it moving into my dream brand new luxury apartment just unleashed crime. Why would law enforcement, acquaintances, private management, the school district and more behave badly towards us here? As I studied the Bronfenbrenner's Ecological Systems Theory it is just.....there is no words I don't know how we survived here under these crimes for years? I saw a quote with Kobe Bryant and I posted it. Haters are a good problem to have. Nobody hates the good ones. They hate the great ones. My son's and I are decent human beings but we never quite fit in here and I moved back thinking it was the best thing for my son's to both graduate school here? But, I never saw just how far the animosity level went until the day I was not home and my son was taken away. I was not even home and no matter how you analyze this crime or make excuses for these actions you will never be able to justify it ever. When we were subject to crime here once word got around we lived in luxury but they couldn't.... The property manager would say Crime Has No Address. Except it did and it was under us here. So, I looked at the key chain gift I received moving here and it's barely there and that's how this toxic community always was. I did not see it until the worse happened and there's unwritten rules when it comes to targeting the innocent. The one's that do these crimes will face themselves one day and they might not even be prosecuted. When the rich hunt down the people what can you do? I don't think any of them expected me to be somewhere today?
This key chain is showing me we stayed here too long. There is Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, and Flop. I feel I was frozen here literally I couldn't react to the crimes or do anything especially after it followed me on campus and my son's to their schools. It took my years to process the trauma and figure it all out. It was until I was almost murdered this June that....
I know that I will figure out a way to great places and to be trapped here for so long. I am so happy that all my dreams and goals have worked out and I am ready to move forward. All these people in the past are long gone forever. The future is Creative Life Happy Future. We live in the greatest country in the world the USA. Somewhere along the way people turn to envy and greed and all the things that make you want to scream. My scream is get the f away from me you loser hater. I am mean there comes a time when things go way to far and reality is you become a person who is unfuckable with. I mean if all they can do is target children they are seriously cowards. It sucks to be around abnormal thinking and toxic players in community this is not what the USA stands for. But, I firmly believe adults should never target kids to get back at adults. I wish I could take it to a Boxing ring and fight it out like real adults. My great great Uncle was a famous boxer in Europe. I have only took a 3 day boxing course but I would take the ring to defend my son's against coward men. We need legislating changes and I plan to go to DC 2024 to make the change. To the coward woman who support predatory men they are usually called an animal name or bug but this is too good to say of them. There really isn't a word for these types and it's so hard to be around those without honor, truth, or the concept or what it is to be human being. When a family is federal protected and state protects class status maybe just maybe they should be left the f alone. You know at the end of the day I can sleep how can these toxic players ever find rest and close their eyes at night? I have always heard no rest for the wicked.
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